President Bush was scheduled to worship at a small church in Washington as
part of Karl Rove’s campaign to reverse his plummeting approval ratings. A
week before the visit, Rove called on the minister.
“As you know, reverend,” Rove said “we’ve been getting a lot of terrible
publicity lately. We’d gladly arrange for Jack Abramoff’s friends to make a
contribution of $100,000 to the church if during your sermon you would say
that President Bush is a saint.”
The minister thought about it for a few minutes, and finally said, “The
parish is in desperate need of funds … Okay, I’ll do it.”
The following Sunday, Bush showed up for the photo op, looking smug even
while attempting to appear pious….
After making a few announcements, the minister began his homily: “George
W. Bush is a petty, vindictive, sanctimonious hypocrite. He is a liar, a
cheat, and a low-intelligence weasel with the world’s largest chip on his
shoulder. He ran a dirty election and still won, the had his toadies in the
Supreme Court appoint him president. He lied about a military record in
which he used special privilege to avoid combat, then had the gall to dress
up and pose on an aircraft carrier before a banner stating “Mission
He invaded Iraq for oil and war profiteering, turning it into a training
ground for terrorists who would destroy our country. He continues to
insist on a nonexistent connection between the horrors of 9/11 and the
reason he started his war in Iraq. He routinely appoints incompetent
cronies to high-level jobs, and as a result, hundreds of Americans died
tragically in New Orleans. He lets corporate polluters despoil God’s
creation and doom our planet. He uses fear-mongering to justify warrantless
spying on American citizens, in clear violation of our Constitution. He is
so psychotic and megalomaniacal that he believes that he was chosen by God.
He is one of the worst example of a human beings I have ever known. But
compared to those fascist monsters Dick Cheney and Karl Rove, George W.
Bush is a saint.”