Top Ten Little Known Facts About Dick Cheney

10. Has iPod pacemaker that keeps his heart beating to Aerosmith.

9. Enjoys reading his grandson excerpts from shady defense contracts.

8. First vice president since Mondale to take a leak in the Rose Garden.

7. Not sure if this is significant but he was the last to see Don Knotts alive.

6. Has a daily 5 o’clock meeting with advisors Jim Beam and Jack Daniel’s.

5. In 1994, underwent a failed sneer-reduction procedure.

4. The second the cameras are off, so are his pants.

3. His undisclosed location is a Hooters in San Antonio.

2. Loves the elderly — well, shooting at them.

1. His approval rating is now lower than his number of heart attacks.