Chuck Norris on the Credit Crisis

Via email from my friend Steve. Not sure of original source, but hat tip to whoever it was. If you know, please add to comments. Thanks.

Chuck Norris on the Credit Crisis

  • Chuck Norris has killed black swans with his bare hands.
  • Chuck Norris rubs the VIX into his chest.
  • Chuck Norris continues to short the Aussie market.

  • Chuck Norris flies First Class.
  • Chuck Norris fought gamma in nam and won.
  • Chuck Norris still has his PB balances with Lehman. Don’t mess with him.
  • Chuck Norris doesn’t use gates. He stops investors with one hand.
  • Chuck Norris thinks 2 & 20 is soft.
  • Chuck Norris will sub-underwrite Iceland.
  • Chuck Norris isn’t scared by crowded trades.
  • Chuck Norris will trade with any counter-party.
  • Chuck Norris takes Iron Ore as a vitamin supplement.
  • Chuck Norris trades currency with Citic.
  • Chuck Norris thinks Fannie & Freddie should toughen up, and use some real leverage.
  • Chuck Norris thinks Credit Crunch is a breakfast cereal.
  • Chuck Norris’s subprime CDO is par bid.
  • Only Chuck Norris can rollover commercial paper.
  • Chuck Norris funds at Libor flat.
  • Chuck Norris Asset Management is hiring and paying top dollar.
  • Chuck Norris sold Countrywide cds at +1200 and bought it back at+350
  • Chuck Norris can borrow at the discount window.
  • Chuck Norris can sell $300bln in high yield loans before lunch.
  • Chuck Norris’s curves are never inverted.
  • Chuck Norris doesn’t hedge. He waits.
  • Chuck Norris doesn’t mark to market. The market marks to Chuck Norris.

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