1a) The image above (except for my comments) came from Mary Meeker’s “Economy + Internet Trends” report (PDF). It’s is pretty much the same stuff her and her interns have been pumping out since the ’90s. Check it out for a regurgitation and updating of conventional “wisdom.”
1b) Comparing Rallies: 2009 vs. 1974-75 vs. 1938-39: Click to view.
2) Now on to the fun stuff: Chuck Norris on the downturn (finance humor):
- Chuck Norris has killed black swans with his bare hands.
- Chuck Norris rubs the VIX into his chest.
- Chuck Norris continues to short the Aussie market.
- Chuck Norris flies First Class.
- Chuck Norris fought gamma in nam and won.
- Chuck Norris still has his PB balances with Lehman. Don’t mess with him.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t use gates. He stops investors with one hand.
- Chuck Norris thinks 2 & 20 is soft.
- Chuck Norris will sub-underwrite Iceland.
- Chuck Norris isn’t scared by crowded trades.
- Chuck Norris will trade with any counter-party.
- Chuck Norris takes Iron Ore as a vitamin supplement.
- Chuck Norris trades currency with Citic.
- Chuck Norris thinks Fannie & Freddie should toughen up, and use some real leverage.
- Chuck Norris thinks Credit Crunch is a breakfast cereal.
- Chuck Norris’s subprime CDO is par bid.
- Only Chuck Norris can rollover commercial paper.
- Chuck Norris funds at Libor flat.
- Chuck Norris Asset Management is hiring and paying top dollar.
- Chuck Norris sold Countrywide cds at +1200 and bought it back at+350
- Chuck Norris can borrow at the discount window.
- Chuck Norris can sell $300bln in high yield loans before lunch.
- Chuck Norris’s curves are never inverted.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t hedge. He waits.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t mark to market. The market marks to Chuck Norris.
- The mother of all moral hazards? Bank of England’s Mervyn King: “Bank bailouts created ‘biggest moral hazard in history.'”
- PBS’s “Warning” uses the same Greenspan/Bush pic I used on AlansBubble.com (see its 2005 mention in the Financial Times).
Bonus random Chuck Norris jokes:
- Chuck Norris once had an erection while lying face down and struck oil.
- Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
- The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
- The last digit of pi is Chuck Norris. He is the end of all things.
- The quickest way to a man’s heart is Chuck Norris’s fist.
- There is no ‘ctrl’ button on Chuck Norris’s computer; He is always in control.
- Chuck Norris does not need to jail break his iPhone.