1) Chart of the Day; 2) Chuck Norris + Downturn

(click for larger version of this image)

1a) The image above (except for my comments) came from Mary Meeker’s “Economy + Internet Trends” report (PDF). It’s is pretty much the same stuff her and her interns have been pumping out since the ’90s. Check it out for a regurgitation and updating of conventional “wisdom.”

1b) Comparing Rallies: 2009 vs. 1974-75 vs. 1938-39: Click to view.

2) Now on to the fun stuff: Chuck Norris on the downturn (finance humor):

  • Chuck Norris has killed black swans with his bare hands.
  • Chuck Norris rubs the VIX into his chest.
  • Chuck Norris continues to short the Aussie market.

  • Chuck Norris flies First Class.
  • Chuck Norris fought gamma in nam and won.
  • Chuck Norris still has his PB balances with Lehman. Don’t mess with him.
  • Chuck Norris doesn’t use gates. He stops investors with one hand.
  • Chuck Norris thinks 2 & 20 is soft.
  • Chuck Norris will sub-underwrite Iceland.
  • Chuck Norris isn’t scared by crowded trades.
  • Chuck Norris will trade with any counter-party.
  • Chuck Norris takes Iron Ore as a vitamin supplement.
  • Chuck Norris trades currency with Citic.
  • Chuck Norris thinks Fannie & Freddie should toughen up, and use some real leverage.
  • Chuck Norris thinks Credit Crunch is a breakfast cereal.
  • Chuck Norris’s subprime CDO is par bid.
  • Only Chuck Norris can rollover commercial paper.
  • Chuck Norris funds at Libor flat.
  • Chuck Norris Asset Management is hiring and paying top dollar.
  • Chuck Norris sold Countrywide cds at +1200 and bought it back at+350
  • Chuck Norris can borrow at the discount window.
  • Chuck Norris can sell $300bln in high yield loans before lunch.
  • Chuck Norris’s curves are never inverted.
  • Chuck Norris doesn’t hedge. He waits.
  • Chuck Norris doesn’t mark to market. The market marks to Chuck Norris.

Bonus tidbits:

Bonus random Chuck Norris jokes:

  • Chuck Norris once had an erection while lying face down and struck oil.
  • Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
  • The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
  • The last digit of pi is Chuck Norris. He is the end of all things.
  • The quickest way to a man’s heart is Chuck Norris’s fist.
  • There is no ‘ctrl’ button on Chuck Norris’s computer; He is always in control.
  • Chuck Norris does not need to jail break his iPhone.

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3 thoughts on “1) Chart of the Day; 2) Chuck Norris + Downturn

  1. You forgot one:

    Chuck Norris kicks unemployment right in the kisser any time he encounters it.

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